Grief


I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.
Grief Bench Shrouded in Autumn Leaves

How does it feel?

We don’t all grieve in the same way. Many feelings run alongside each other, or follow on directly after the other. It really can be a true rollercoaster of emotions. You may feel: 

  • shocked/numb
  • sad
  • anxious
  • exhausted
  • relieved/calm
  • guilty
  • angry/resentful
  • lost

Grief Counselling

For some people it can be highly beneficial to work through their grief with a specialist. Our person-centred counselling focuses on the fact that all individuals have within themselves the capacity to grow and reach their potential. It is often the case that external factors hinder that growth, and that building a therapeutic relationship can provide a safe space.  

Working therapeutically with a counsellor allows a young person to be listened to. As a result, they may be able to get things off their chest which they can’t at home. The home environment can be a difficult place when multiple people are grieving in one space, each of them potentially dealing with it in a different way. Therefore, counselling may be the best option.

The cost per session is £60 (sessions last for 50 minutes).

The Long Road of Grief

About

Everybody deals with loss in different ways. Some people grit their teeth and get on with their lives without talking about it, some feel the need to discuss their emotions with others, but for young people in particular, it is really important that they are able to understand why they are feeling a particular way. Our aim is to get people talking so that they can manage their grief.

Person Standing Alone Looking At The Road

What is grief?

Grief is a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love have received. There is no set time limit on grief – it can last for months or years. It can have physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophical dimensions.

Find out more about Soli

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

Grief isn’t a linear process but it is useful to have a framework to understand what to expect. Everybody grieves in their own time in their own unique way.

Denial

Feeling numb is common in the early days after a bereavement. Some people at first carry on as if nothing has happened. Even if we know with our heads that someone has died it can be hard to believe that someone important is not coming back. It’s also very common to feel the presence of someone who has died, hear their voice or even see them. 

Anger

Anger is a completely natural emotion, and very natural after someone dies. Death can seem cruel and unfair, especially when you feel someone has died before their time or you had plans for the future together. It’s also common to feel angry towards the person who has died, or angry at ourselves for things we did or didn’t do before their death.

Bargaining

When we are in pain, it’s sometimes hard to accept that there’s nothing we can do to change things. Bargaining is when we start to make deals with ourselves, or perhaps with God if you’re religious. We want to believe that if we act in particular ways we will feel better. It’s also common to find ourselves going over and over things that happened in the past and asking a lot of ‘what if’ questions, wishing we could go back and change things in the hope things could have turned out differently.

Depression

Sadness and longing are what we think of most often when we think about grief. This pain can be very intense and come in waves over many months or years. Life can feel like it no longer holds any meaning which can be very scary.

Acceptance

Grief comes in waves and it can feel like nothing will ever be right again. But gradually most people find that the pain eases, and it is possible to accept what has happened. We may never ‘get over’ the death of someone precious, but we can learn to live again, while keeping the memories of those we have lost close to us.

IF YOU NEED URGENT HELP

If you are feeling suicidal right now, there are people out there who can help you.

If you are at immediate risk of harm, please call 999 and ask for an ambulance.

YoungMinds Textline

Provides free 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

Opening times:24/7

Samaritans

Whatever you’re going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support.

Opening times: 24/7

Call 116 123

Email jo@samaritans.org

Childline

If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.